Monday 14 March 2011

Reflections On The Death Of My Young Sister Linda

By Gabriel Konayuma

During the funeral of my late young sister, I may not have been able to share with some of you my dear brethren on the events surrounding Linda’s death. This could have been due to insufficient time or the fact that some of you are out of town. The reflections I have put down here seek to share with you something of what I believe God would have me and the saints learn from this sad event in my family. It’s my prayer that the Lord will use it to your souls eternal good. The publication date 15th March has been chosen to coincide with the late Linda’s birthday. God richly bless you as you read on.

Background
On 17th February this year about 01 30 hours I received a phone call from the Hilltop medical staff informing that my young sister Linda had passed away. On this particular night my cell phone was on as my wife had not yet returned from work having covered the presidential petition ruling the previous day. On Wednesday morning (16th February), Matthew, my brother-in-law phoned me in the informing me that Linda was admitted at Hilltop hospital. She had been taken to hospital by Mr. Andrew Musonda whom she was staying with. Matthew, the wife Catherine and I went to see Linda at the hospital. We found Linda looking frail but able to talk. She had not had any solid meals in the one week in which she was admitted to the hospital. Catherine, my young sister, fed her some porridge which she had prepared. We chatted with Linda for some time. Before we left, Catherine and I shared the gospel with Linda. Catherine had shared the gospel with her earlier in the day.

In the evening, we visited Linda again. At that time her condition was not too good as she was having problems in breathing. The hospital medical staff put her on oxygen to help in the breathing. At this time, she could hardly talk. One of our dear sister’s Muntanga took time to share the gospel with Linda and urge her to put her faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Around 20 30 we left Linda to rest. It was 5 hours latter that I got the phone call that Linda was no more. I was at a loss and heavy of heart. Matthew and Catherine came to pick my wife Judith and I after about thirty minutes. We drove to the hospital and found the body of my departed sister ready to be dispatched to Ideal Funeral Home. We all went to the funeral home along with Mr. Musonda who had been around when Linda was dying. Arriving at the funeral home the reality of Linda’s death struck me. It was a point of no return.

We got back home around 03 30 and had less than an hour’s sleep. By this time I had started sending SMS’s to relatives and friends informing them of the sad news. The hardest part was how we were going to break the news to mum. This was done by church mates to mum. They first ensured that mum had a bath and breakfast. Mum’s response was one of utter shock. She started weeping with her friends doing what they could to comfort her. My young sister and myself could not hold back our tears. The rest of the day was spent in getting requisites for the funeral and making tentative arrangements for the burial. On Thursday and Friday evenings brother Chikondi Phiri brought very heart searching evangelistic messages on the subject of death. On the second night Chikondi preached on the subject ‘How will you die?’

Reflections
What reflections have I had since Linda passed away? My reflections have centred on gratitude to God, importance of maintaining good family values and ties and the need to live each day in the light of the fact that any time we may be called from this earth.

Firstly, the need to be grateful to God. This gratitude arises from the fact that though we were informed quite late (a day before she died) about our sister’s illness and hospitalisation, we were able to see her, talk with her and share the gospel with her. I also give thanks to God that by His grace He lent Linda to us a family for thirty-four years that she was alive and it pleased Him to take her away at this time. I am also grateful to God for the relatives and friends who were able to attend the funeral and assist in whatever form. I thank God also for the former employers of Linda, the employers of Catherine, Kenneth and mine for all the material and financial assistance rendered to our family. One ought not to take such mercies for granted. I am grateful to God that He provided all that was required for the funeral and eventual burial of Linda. Thanks be to God for the comfort which he gave to our family through His word. I thank God for the preaching of the gospel from Hebrews 9:27, 28 by Mwamba Chibuta at the graveyard. It was a word in season which I pray that God used and will continue to use to the many that were gathered at the late Linda’s graveyard on 19th February.

Secondly, the importance of maintaining good family values and ties. God by His grace has planted us in families. As we grow we are exposed to family values good or bad. As saints we need to ensure that we cherished and practise good family values. We need also to maintain good family ties with our brothers and sisters and the wider family (normally called extended family). To some extent we have tried to maintain good family ties in my family. However, in the case of my late sister much more could have been done. She did not easily open up with the rest of the brothers and sisters. I’m not too sure why she did not feel to free to be open and close to us as siblings or indeed some of her friends. Perhaps we could have done more to make ourselves more approachable or forced ourselves into her life. Maintaining reasonable family ties assists in providing providential openings in gospel witness. We can only be good and do good to our siblings, friends and relatives while they are still alive.

One death can have such an impact on a family. From having had two sisters, Linda’s death has reduced the number to one sister. Catherine now has no sister. What an awesome responsibility for us the surviving brothers to be close to her! Mum now only has one daughter out of two.

Thirdly, we need to live each day in the light of the fact that any time we may be called from this earth. It has often been said that we normally feel the reality of death when it comes close to our gates. I felt it when my dad passed away in 1992 and I felt it this year when I lost my young sister. I have also felt it when we lost two dear sisters in a space of a day at Trinity Baptist Churchin Kitwe. I’ve felt on other occasions. When we are so powerfully reminded of the reality of death why do we still want to cling to the vain things of this world? Why O my soul would you want to amass worldly goods as if one day you will not leave this world? The words of the hymn writer Thomas Kelly are quite fitting. He writes:

We’ve no abiding city here;
This may distress the worldly mind;
But should not cost the saint a tear
Who hopes a better rest to find.

We’ve no abiding city here;
Then let us live as pilgrims do;
Let not the world our rest appear,
But let us haste from all below.

O to live for the Lord Jesus each passing day! O to live ‘so as to missed’ as M’Cheyne put it. What do we hope to be remembered for when we die? The words recorded by John in Revelation are a good place to end my reflection: “…. ‘Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.’” Yes,” says the Spirit, “that they may rest from their labours, and their works follow them.” (Revelation 14:13).

Gabriel S Konayuma
15 March 2005

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